Reppin’ Mammoth @ Single Speed USA- Boulder, CO: June 3-5
That’s right sucka fresh. I sent in my artwork (if that’s what you wanna call it) and $35 duckets a few weeks ago- got the official “You’re in” email last week- It’s on. Lately I’ve been having 2nd thoughts about SSUSA – long drive, low on loot right now… it conflicts with 12 Hours of Temecula and U.S. Cup… I’ve got a bunch of excuses- but those are for chumps and strumpets. You only live once – Angela & Lucy have been jonesin’ for a road trip since Montana… so Boulder, CO here we come!! That means the PURPLE CORDUROY PANTS are coming out of the closet (not me), and I’ll be racing in them. Question is chamois or no chamois? I’ve never worn them with underoos even. HOOT!!
Oh, you don’t know the cords?
For all you knuckas, lemme ‘splain grasshopper-style. I purchased these units in the women’s section of Value Village in Victoria, BC back in ’07. I was going with The Buried Life crew to an “90’s Night” Party (doesn’t that make you feel old?) at Lucky Bar. I wound up with the purple cords, Brad got some snakeskin duds, and Kyle was rockin some ghetto ass letterman jacket. I was rockin’ the handlebar stache for a bet. Anyhoo, that night got blurry. I got free drinks all night cuz I bet the bartender I had a California Drivers License with 90210 on it. Kyle got socked up by the punkrock girl at Pita Pit for throwing his jacket on the grill with his onions and shrooms. We got a Prius cab home, stoner driver got pulled over, but got off somehow. Anyhoo, those pants went into my “Closet Hall of Fame” – and only come out on special occassions now. Like the annual pond skim for the closing of Canyon Lodge. Or while demoing ski bikes at DSES. And now, at SSUSA. I’m gonna spin them pedals so fast I’m gonna start a choda fire!! I’m bringin’ Mammoth Brew with me, so let’s kick it for a minute and pour some out for Tupac and Biggie Smalls. I’ll be racing with a pony keg of Pale Ale on my back- aid stations are for suckas- See ya on the corner of Mumser and Piker St.